Well, ladies and gentleman (and I use that term lightly), it's that time of the year once again. Yes, the time of year filled with magic, wonder, enebriation, and a bit of looting. Of course, my peoples, I am speaking of the TouchDS.com Awards! This is a bi-annual event in which we hand out meaningless awards to many of our members so that they can tout them in message board arguments which often involve the exchange of the sizes of the respective individual's genitalia.

But, let's not foray into such a subject. Let us concern ourselves with the shameless handing out of awards, an often redundant yet sexy ritual. These awards are for the latter half of (in the year of our Lord -- Gotta love teh A.D.) 2005. This encompasses the beginning of July up until the voting (and/or year) ends. So, go ahead and view the categories. It's usually best to vote for the individual who first pops into your mind after reading a category.

Oh, and do remember this simple rule: voting for yourself implies that you are not comfortable with your sexuality (i.e, just don't vote for yourself), so please avoid this at all costs.

Voting is now open to the members of our forums, so don't hesitate!

Voting is simple. Send us (the Super Moderators -- Mormon and Myself) a PM of all of your votes for each category. Keep in mind, you don't have to pick someone for ALL of the categories (I will, because I'm such a wonderful contributor), just the categories you feel like voting for. I do realize that we have a great deal of categories here, so just pick and choose which ones you want to vote for someone for.

Voting is officially open at the time of this post's post time and date. Voting will officially end on the twenty-second of Noviembre, dos-mil cinco (November 22, 2005 at midnight). All other votes submitted after 12:00AM (PST) will not be counted. And with that, here are the categories:



The following categories may contain foul language (censored minorly) and/or otherwise distasteful use of the English language. So, if you cannot soil your virgin eyes with such "tasteless" categories (i.e, can't look at swear words etc), leave now. That is all...




f4nb0i:
Sony's B*tch
Microsoft-Mounted
Nintendo's Dawg

Forum-going:
Sexiest Signature
Hawtest Avatar
Wewt Spamz0rz (biggest spammer)
Fails @ Grammar (types like sh!t)
Grammar-leet (would slap you for not using commas)
Most Knowledgable of Tech
Should Think Before They Type (read: idiot)
Teh Funnay (posting)
Annoying-est
PWN-skillz (Art)
PWN-skillz II (anything else?)
Industry Insider (most knowledgable of the happenings of the game industry)
Feed-burner (posts lots o' newz)

Yearbook Your Personal Opinion of Each Member):
Most Likely to make you L your AO
Most Likely to be living under a rock
Baby of the Forums (least mature)
Granpappy of the Forums (most mature)
Most Likely to write an epic novel that will sell millions and pwn at the box office
Hawtest Member
Most Likely to become a clergyman
Most Likely to kick your asterisk
Most Likely to win the "Most Likely to be a hardcore gamer" award
Most Softcore gamer
Member with the most wit (to throw around)
You know you're a geek when your name is...
You know you're a normie when your name is...
Has the most expensive ride (car, for you non-Americans... are there any here?)
Most Likely to score at the bar
Most Likely to be a 40-year-old virgin
The Studious One
The Punk
The Skater
The Wuss
The Bully
The Wigger (chav?)
The Gangsta
The Pimp (there's a difference)
teh r0x0r
El Terrible
teh h4xx0r
The Christian
The Athiest
The Celebrity


Overall Site:
Best Moderator/Super Moderator (NO ADMINS)
Best Administrator (NO MODS)
Best Reviewer (no BS, reviews thoroughly)
Writes the Best Reviews (most fun to read)
Most Contributive to the Site
Best Overall Member
Best Podcast Host
Most Strict Mod/Admin
Best Old Member (October 31, 2004 - December 31, 2004)
Best Middle Member (January 1, 2005 - June 30, 2005)
Best New Member (July 1, 2005 - End of Contest)

Remember, members, simply submit a PM (private message) to either me or Mormon containing all of your votes for the categories you choose. DO NOT send individual PMs containing one or a few votes. This is just a waste of space. And, as always, do not be offended by these awards if you end up receiving a reward that you don't like. These are just harmless awards (no stickers, gold pieces, plaques, etc) for the fun of the site.

Thank You,
DSdude
(and the TouchDS team)

*** EDIT: This post has been edited to an extent to allow some members to retain their sanity in trying to decipher the categories. ***